Andy enjoyed thinking about God. He smiled to himself, took a step forward in line, as the tall guy with the pin-striped suit grabbed a large coffee and turned away from the counter, tossing his change into the tip mug alongside the cash register. Andy never tipped at the donut shop, but he enjoyed watching people who did. He liked the sound the coins made when they bounced and danced in the mug. No one had ever placed a dollar bill in the mug; at least Andy had never seen it. Yet every day, there was the ever present dollar bill. When his turn came, Andy ordered his usual -- medium coffee, two sugars, with a little half and half. “Would you like any donuts this morning?” Tina (according to her name tag) asked. Andy glanced downward, toward his left, at the stack of newspapers for sale. NOT TODAY, ANDY the headline read. “No, I don’t think so,” he answered. With coffee and newspaper in hand, he headed toward the downtown library where he toiled at the circulation desk eight hours a day, six days a week. He was nearly the senior member of the library staff, having been employed there 15 years.
Andy stared at the telephone, motionless. The sweat noticeably dripped from his underarms. He felt cold and shivered as he shook his head. For three consecutive weeks, Andy had repeated the same scene in his bedroom. Every day in class, he’d convince himself he would do it. This would be the night. He would make the call. “She’s just a girl,” he’d repeat to himself. The worst thing she could do was to say no. Things were different at night, though, alone in his room. He stared at the dial on the telephone. Paralysis consumed him.
Andy couldn’t wait to get to the donut shop for his morning cup of coffee. He had a feeling that something special was going to take place. He was earlier than usual, and there was no line. “Good morning, sir,” said Freddie. “What can I get for you this morning?” Freddie rarely worked the counter, and this role reversal with Tina convinced Andy that this was no ordinary day. He found it ironic that Freddie always wore a Yale University baseball cap and worked at a donut shop. He ordered his usual and glanced at the headlines. Upon looking down at the newspapers, Andy’s shoulders dropped. PATIENCE, ANDY. “Here you go,” said Freddie. Pulling his hand quickly back and shaking his fingers, Freddie screamed, “Damn, that’s hot. Let me put a holder around that cup. There, that’s better.” He slid the cup toward Andy, wiping his hands with a soiled towel. “Would you like anything else with that, sir?” questioned Freddie. “Just the paper, nothing else,” responded a disappointed Andy. He took his change, pocketed it, and headed toward the library.
His mother was out shopping. Andy had the house to himself, at least for the next hour or so. He rubbed his sweaty hands together, stared at the ceiling, and took several deep breaths. He dialed. “Hello,” he heard Jodi’s voice on the other end of the phone. Andy suddenly felt very nauseous and he was sure he was going to throw up. He didn’t know whether to hang up and run for the bathroom or answer. “Hello?” rang in his ears again. “Is someone there?” asked Jodi. “Uh, hello,” Andy’s voice croaked. “Jodi, this is Andy,” he covered the receiver and cleared his throat. “Andy from your math class, I sit four desks behind you.” There was silence. Andy was about to hang up and bee line it for the bathroom. “Oh, yes, I know who you are.” Jodi’s voice sounded sensual. “What do you want?”
Andy hadn’t been receiving messages from God for very long. Nine months ago, to be precise, Andy noticed something strange about the newspaper headlines at his favorite morning donut shop. They spoke to him. That is, the headlines addressed him personally. Andy couldn’t explain it. He didn’t believe it at first, but now there was no mistaking it. The first instance was innocuous enough. HELLO ANDY. THIS IS GOD. Andy remembered looking around, trying to see if anyone else noticed the peculiar headline. No one had. Andy was nervous and didn’t know what to make of it. He bought the paper, but when he exited the donut shop, God’s personal message was gone, replaced by the normal dismal headlines. The personalized headlines didn’t appear every day, and they seemed to occur at random. At least Andy couldn’t figure out a pattern. He’d only purchase a newspaper when God sent him a message. Andy had no control over when they appeared, and the only times he saw them were on the newspapers at his favorite donut shop. Because the headlines vanished upon exiting the store, Andy jotted them in a notebook: ONLY SPECIAL PEOPLE WORK FOR ME, ANDY WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER – YOU ARE NOT ALONE I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, MY FRIEND
He eventually stopped maintaining the notebook, because he wasn’t sure if God approved. After all, he could easily commit these brief, direct headlines to memory. He liked the idea that he was the only one who could read them, and he welcomed each and every message. Andy enjoyed these messages from God, it made him feel whole, but patience was never one of Andy’s strengths.
Andy hesitated. “I was wondering if maybe you and I could go out together sometime, I mean if you wanted to and you weren’t real busy. I was just wondering.” He spit it out, finally. The weight of the world was off his shoulders. Andy was ready to collapse from exhaustion. Then, the reply, “I tell you what, Andy. Give me a call tomorrow night and I’ll let you know. Okay? Bye.” Andy hung up the phone and was numb. He repeated Jodi’s answer a thousand times to himself. Jodi was the best looking girl in school and although she hadn’t quite said, yes, she hadn’t turned him down, either. Andy was shocked. He was mentally prepared for a complete and total rejection.
The decade and a half following high school had taken their toll on Jodi. Now divorced with three children, she had put on a lot of weight and the stress of real life was visible in her once bright face. The bounce from her cheerleading days was gone. Among other pills, she regularly took a prescription diuretic for high blood pressure. She struggled now to make ends meet, tending bar at a local restaurant when she could get the work while attending computer classes a few nights a week. She was a regular at the library where Andy worked, religiously coming in Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Although Andy had helped her check out books on a couple of occasions, they didn’t speak to each other. It was awkward at first, especially for Andy, who had trouble making eye contact. It seemed as if Jodi couldn’t care less who worked the circulation desk. She had her own problems and agenda now.
Andy forced himself to wait until 7:30pm before calling Jodi back. He didn’t want to seem too anxious, but he could hardly contain himself. He dialed the number as quickly as humanly possible and she answered on the third ring. The conversation was a little easier for Andy this time around. Jodi suggested they meet at The Empire Room for dinner, one of the fancier and more expensive restaurants in town, on Saturday evening at 7:00pm. “You are so sweet, Andy. Really, very sweet,” Jodi said. “I like sweet.” Andy couldn’t believe his ears. He had no idea how he would pay for such a date, but he readily agreed and spent the next few days on cloud nine. He thought about the clothes he would wear, which cologne to select, and how to style his hair. He decided on the sticky green stuff. Life was good.
Andy wasn’t certain when the final message would come. No, he couldn’t waver. He knew God would take care of everything. This wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing in Andy’s life ever came easy. There were too many days in the donut shop, Andy felt, when he looked at the newspaper and didn’t see any message from God. He couldn’t let himself become frustrated. This particular morning, at the donut shop, Andy noticed the tip mug overflowing with change. When he approached the counter, he placed his coffee order and glanced down. THE TIME IS NEAR, ANDY. He looked around nervously and needlessly. As always, no one else waiting for their morning caffeine and sugar hits seemed to take notice.